Ok, so after reading the thoughtful response from Spock’s Maia, I thought I must be crazy.  I know that it didn’t say anything about sending a mail to all those people when I clicked “Request Trust”, but she says it would say that and posted a screen shot to prove it.  Was I a dope?

First, let’s get one general item out of the way.  Social networks typically classify people (user objects?) into two types:

1. Users that have already registered on the site
2. Potential new users that we can try to recruit

Generally, when you’re using a social network site, if you request a connection with type number 1, it puts a little “poke” message in their account page or virtual (non-email) inbox on the site.  I usually consider these users fair game for mass requests - they already use the service, so yeah, let’s go ahead and ask them to link up.

Type 2 users are where the spam comes in.  They are not in the site already, so the service will “helpfully” send them an email in your name which requests their participation.  This is obnoxious, and while it’s technically “ham” not “spam”, it is still something I refuse to do.

Now take a look at this screen grab from Spock’s Gmail address book importer:

You tell me.  Does this look like user category 1 or 2?  Will it send them email?  I decided it wouldn’t and selected “Add to Trust Network”.  After all, they must already use the site, right?  Then it sent out over 100 email messages to people who have never heard of the site.  How do I know?  I’ve gotten more than a dozen questions out of the blue from people who I know but haven’t talked to in a while.  Their message is simple:  “What’s Spock?”

For what it’s worth, here’s Spock’s “phase 2″ page requesting to email people.  This is what Maia posted, and what the site puts up for some other random set of less-defined people.  I clicked “Skip” here for good reason…

So enough with the complaints.  I’m ticked off, that’s true, because lots of my contacts are thinking of me as “the guy who just signed me up for some social networking site” rather than “my esteemed business associate” (or whatever else they thought of me).  Some of those contacts are high-ranking business folks who get enough unwanted email already.  Some were potential partners or customers.

The difference between MySpace and LinkedIn is maturity.  MySpace is a playground to impress your friends.  LinkedIn is a rolodex to keep connected with colleagues.  Where does Spock fit in?  (sorry for the campy title…)

On the other hand, I do have to give Maia and Spock some credit for a thoughtful and professional response.

Ok, it’s confirmed, Spock is another spammy social networking site. Except unlike Plaxo, which informed you before annoying everyone you know, Spock hides its intentions. If you got an email “on my behalf” from Spock today, and you’re still my friend, I apologize. I would not have clicked the trust button if I had known it would email you…

Here’s what the email looks like (though I suppose you already know…):

From: Spock Team <info@spock.com>
Date: Dec 6, 2007 12:06 PM
Subject: Stephen Foskett has requested your trust on Spock

To: everyone@iknow.com

Hi Future Spocker,

Stephen Foskett wants you to join their Trust Network on  Spock.com.

Click here to get started.

-

Unsubscribe: http://www.spock.com/do/public/request_unsubscribe

To the Spock team: This is a real problem. It said “request trust” not “annoy with email advertisement in my name”. The former means “put a little check box on the user’s page or something”. If you’re going to send email, you must warn people! If anyone’s listening, kill those emails now.

To all potential Spock users: Stay away. It’s another Plaxo-like virus. Avoid my mistake and just don’t use it.

Update: Now that the emails have gone out, the update emails to me are starting to pour in.  So not only did 135 of my closest friends get Spock mails with my name on it, I’m now going to get some unknown number of alert emails as each of those people try out the site.  Thanks!  >:-(

I am so sick of social networking sites that send spam, pollute my address book, pry into my life, and otherwise screw up the very social sphere they are supposed to serve.  Since these things are popping up like plastic moles at an arcade, it’s hard to avoid getting sucked into one or two.  And just when you think you’re safe, suddenly another site is impersonating you in an email.  “Since you’re someone I trust…”

I avoided all of these things for years before finally succumbing to LinkedIn.  It seemed like everyone in my (professional, over-30) “network” was on it, and was sending me invites all the time, so I decided to jump in and join just that one network.  LinkedIn was, and remains, just “ok”.  I like that it is focused professionally and that many of my colleagues are in it.  I really don’t like that it’s not really integrated with anything - your network lives on LinkedIn and never gets out much.  And I hate the spammy messages and Ponzi scheme aspect of collecting contacts and luring others in.  But it remains ok.

Then there was Plaxo.  If you disliked the messages from LinkedIn, you hated the ones from Plaxo, especially their embedded “business card” signatures with JavaScript, images, and god knows what else…  I finally joined Plaxo because it purports to keep your Outlook address book in shape for you.  But I’m furious that what it really does is “re-duplicate” all of your contacts, messing up your address book until you have to sign up for their premium service just to get the de-duplication feature.  And don’t get me started about when I switched jobs and it spammed everyone in my address book without my consent!  And Plaxo just re-launched with a more Facebook-y interface called Pulse, which is pretty but mostly empty and highly useless.  I’m considering quitting Plaxo…

Then there are the social social sites.  I “joined” MySpace so I could keep up with one of my favorite bands, but I’ve never really used it.  It’s just so creepy and ugly - a race to see who can come up with the worst home page reminiscent of the way-back days of the world wide web.  I refuse to use it, except to delete the continual spam mail from would-be women friends in Russia…  Come on, Tom, can’t MySpace do something about that?

Next up?  Facebook!  Aah yes, home of 10,000 useless ways to “poke” someone you already know.  And home to exactly 38 people that I kinda know. It was interesting playing with the customization features, and seeing the crowded but much less ugly home pages.  But it’s not for old folks like me, I guess.

So why am I writing this today?  Well, if you’re my friend (and if you’re reading this, you probably are) then you might have just received some more social-spam from me this morning.  And I wanted to apologize.  See, I just tried out Spock, a people search engine that looked kind of keen.  It mines other sites to try to come up with uniform information about people from all those other social networks - a network of networks.  It asked me to add in my connections, so I let it search my address book (which, thanks to Plaxo, is about as crufty and full of surprises as my kids’ toy box) and then told me that 135 contacts were “already on Spock”, so I could “add them to my trust network”.  Sure, I stupidly, thought adding them to my trust network sounds OK!  After clicking “Add to trust network”, it asked if I wanted to email everyone else, and I said no.  Now I am not sure what Spock did to request trust, and I have no way to take it back.

But there was something nagging me at the end of this little interaction with Spock, making me think I might just have spammed everyone yet again.  Maybe I’m just mistrustful or jaded, but I guess I’ve just gotten to the point of assuming that all social networking sites are Ponzi schemes to bring eyeballs to ads by sending out email “on my behalf”.

I’m sick of it.  I’m opting out of the next social network I get invited to, and I suggest you do the same.  I’m thinking of pulling out of Plaxo, Facebook, and MySpace.  And the next site I trust that spams my friends will get the boot, too.  Hear me, social networks?  Quit it or I quit.