The glorious Victorinox Swiss Army CyberTool 34: Geek's best friend or security's worst nightmare?

Aah, security. It seems that, in the last decade, the balance between liberty and security in the United States has tilted rather strongly, to the point that we expect to be scanned and have our possessions confiscated before entering buildings. Such was the case when my family and I made our pilgrimage to the Empire State Building in New York, separating me from my beloved Victorinox CyberTool after 10 years of loyal service. It’s a good thing they took it away, too!

I had planned on using the built-in pozidrive, Torx, and Phillips (#0 and #1) bits to dismantle the building and take it home with me. The pliers and scissors might have helped there, too. And since they didn’t confiscate (or really even thoroughly check) my bag, the corkscrew, bottle opener, and can opener might have allowed me to get wild with the Chardonnay and Vienna sausages while I was working! Good thing it packs a toothpick and tweezers, too, since those things can be dangerous. And if anyone tried to stop me, I would have had my choice of 1.5″ or 2.5″ blades to “defend” myself!

Or perhaps I could have used the tiny screwdriver to fix my glasses and the scissors to snip the end off of my kids’ drinking straws to make it easier for them to enjoy lunch. Either way, we’re all safer now that my CyberTool is forever in the hands of the professionals on 34th street. Just don’t let them know that Amazon delivered a new Onyx CyberTool 34 last week!

© sfoskett for Stephen Foskett, Pack Rat, 2008. | Empire State Building: 1, Swiss Army Knife: 0
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